My Journey

This Friday I will get my port removed. I have had the order from my doctor to get it removed since October, but for some reason it just wasn't a priority at the time. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt some weird, emotional attachment to this thing in my body. I don't know if it is the fear of if I take it out, it will come back or if it is just another step in this journey that I am learning to process.

This January I got a new order from the doctor so that I could get the port removed. I tried calling 2 weeks later and could not get in touch with someone. I left a message and never got a call back. Took it as a sign to wait. At the end of February I tried calling again, this time I spoke with someone who was able to schedule my procedure. It is this Friday. Exactly a year from the date I got my port put in. This I decided was another sign. This is when I should get it removed.

As I reflect back on this year, I wanted to put all of my posts and stories in one place. Oddly enough in just the past 2 months I have shared my story with others who were getting ready to go through the same thing I did and it felt so good to share.

January 11, 2021

Dear ladies... make sure you check your ta-tas regularly!

Most women don't start mammograms until age 45-50. Even with my family history I wasn't supposed to start until age 40.

Right before Christmas I felt a lump. After a mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy I got the call with that dreaded word, cancer.

However, this isn't a pity post. I'm feeling great. I met with my surgeon today and I'm ready to kick cancer in the butt! I have an AMAZING support system. If I hadn't found this when I did, it could have ended badly! #positivethoughts

January 25, 2021

2 weeks ago I had a MRI done which showed nothing new and confirmed that nothing has spread to my lymph nodes. Today I got the news that my genetic testing came back normal for ALL 47 genes.

Should hopefully hear back from my surgeon in the next few days to determine next steps/surgery.

February 18, 2021

Surgery day and of course it had to snow. Luckily the hospital/surgical pavilion is less than a mile from our house.

Arrived around 7am for check-in and pre-operation stuff. Covid test, pregnancy test, and a million questions from nurses, doctors, etc.

Surgery last about 1.5-2 hours. They did take just one lymph node based on the reactions. Spent about 2 hours in recovery, then got to come home and start the recovery.

February 23, 2021

This little pillow has been my best friend the past 4 days. It was given to me at my first doctors appointment with my breast surgeon (they are donated by different people who make them). I haven't had much pain from the surgery at all, but the uncomfortable feeling from having lymph nodes removed under my arm is still lingering and it's the little things like this pillow that help tremendously.

March 3, 2021

Update time:

I had my post-op appointment last Friday. The lymph node they removed tested positive for cancer. This led to a PET CT scan on Monday.

Met with my oncologist today. PET scan came back negative, so no new spots or suspicions of cancer spreading anywhere else.

However, due to my age, the size of my tumor, and the fact that it had spread to the lymph node I will have to do chemo first and then radiation.

My first treatment will be on March 23! Long road ahead, but we are headed in the right direction!

March 18, 2021

Port was put in today. Not a very fun experience. Not completely awake, but not completely asleep. I could literally feel the pressure of them putting it in and could hear them talking, but did not feel any pain at all. I did ask the nurse to turn up the meds at one point. :-)

Update: The next day I felt like I got hit by a bus. I could not turn my head, lift my arm, and my whole body hurt. It was very uncomfortable. Needless to say, I thought I could go to work, but decided against it once I woke up that morning.

March 23, 2021

First dose. I received 2 different chemo drugs. One of them is red and it called the red devil. Side effects are not fun. (see my other post for more specifics on treatment days) With these first 4 doses I also had to get a Neulasta shot. The first one I went back to the cancer to get as a shot, but the other 3 were a device that went on my arm after my treatment. This particular medicine was not fun. The next day after the show my entire body hurt. It would start in my neck and shoulder, then slowly move down my entire body to my legs. It was like my bones hurt, which is probably a good sign. It means that my body was trying to produce white blood cells to help fight.

April 10, 2021

I knew it was going to happen, but you can never fully prepare for the moment your hair begins to fall out. It was after my second treatment. I was in the shower washing my hair and all of a sudden big chunks just started to come out. I needed to get to work, so I carefully rinsed the rest of my hair. Dried if off and threw it up into a bun. The next day it had turned into a huge dread from being up and falling out. I asked my husband to cut it. It was itchy, it was heavy, and I just wanted it gone. It was time to bring on the hats!

May 4, 2021

Today was my final double dose! There are supposed to be the toughest. One is even called the Red Devil because of its side effects and red color.

However, I've been very lucky. My side effects have been minimal compared to what they could have been.

I start my next round on May 18. It will be a single dose that I receive weekly for 12 weeks. Let's finish this out!

The rest of this chemo journey was pretty easy. I celebrated in August, took a family vacation to the beach, and then prepared to head back to school. I met with my radiation oncologist and set up my schedule for radiation.

August 7, 2021

I've had people ask if I feel any different now that chemo is done. The answer is no, at least not yet.

Maybe it's because it hasn't even been a week and the reality of not having to go to the cancer center on Tuesday hasn't hit yet. Maybe it's because all of the lovely side effects don't just go away magically. They can stay in your system for days, weeks, months. So last night as I was going to bed and I had heartburn, my feet were swollen, my bones in my face hurt, and my fingernails are all jacked up it doesn't really feel any different.

And I'm tired. That's another thing that just doesn't go away. It takes time.

Today we head to the beach for a week. It's funny how things just fall in place. This trip was planned a year ago before any of this happened. When I found out my chemo path was 16 treatments I immediately sat down and looked at the calendar. If everything goes as planned, last treatment August 3...beach trip August 7. I needed everything to stay on track.

Mindset can be a powerful thing. Positivity helped me get through this.

So while I may not feel any different yet... I'm definitely going to enjoy this week at the beach and relax.

August 24, 2021

The first trip to radiation is to get everything set up. You get a CT scan and a mold created so that you lay in the exact same position every single visit. The actual treatment is about 5 minutes or less, but it takes about 15-20 minutes to get everything set up. The other downside to radiation is that I had to go every single day (Monday through Friday) for 30 days. It felt like it went by slow, but fast at the same time. Luckily I had a calendar so that I could count down the days.

October 5, 2021

Long post alert/update:

Today I had blood work, met with my oncologist, and had a radiation treatment.

Friday is my LAST radiation treatment!

Next up is endocrine therapy to try and prevent breast cancer from returning. Due ot my age and the fact that my type of cancer was hormone positive, I will be starting a monthly injection as well as a daily pill to suppress my hormones. Hello menopause!

I meet with oncologist and breast surgeon in Dec/Jan then I should hopefully begin the 6 month check-ins.

Here's the thing about cancer... the words done with treatment, remission, survivor, they are all just words. You are never really done. Every 6 months I have to have a mammogram and MRI done to check for anything new. I have to get blood work done to make sure my hormones are cooperating. While these are nothing compared to what I've been through this year, it's mentally exhausting. There's always that fear of what if... what if it comes back.

So while the hard part of my journey is done, please keep the check-ins, texts, phone calls, messages coming because unfortunately the journey isn't over and every single one of you has made an impact on keeping me positive. I truly appreciate it.

January 4, 2022

The monthly shots and daily pill are going well. I am officially in menopause and other than dealing with some hot flashes, it's not so bad!

Next mammogram will be in April.

If you made it this far, thank you. Thank you for the support. Thank you for allowing me to share my journey. I hope that my story will help others who may have to go through something like this (although I hope no one ever does!)