This week we wrap up our first quarter of 100% virtual learning. My thoughts, this is HARD.
I understand that 100% virtual is probably the best thing given the circumstances, especially in the county where I teach. But I have never been more ready to go back to the building.
Here are my thoughts... distance learning is working for those students who can connect to our live sessions every day and are able to complete their work on their own or with help from home. But what about those students who constantly are having issues connecting to my live session or can't access the technology that I am using for my lesson? What about those students who don't have anyone to help them at home if they need help on an assignment? What about those students who don't know how or are scared/nervous to ask for help? What about our ESOL students who are trying to navigate this weird schooling when they are still trying to learn the English language? What about our students with an IEP who need so many supports put in place to help them that are not always available in a virtual setting?
These questions are the things that go through my head every single day as I plan my lessons. These are the questions that keep me up at night some days. These are the questions that are making distance learning so hard.
I want to make sure that ALL of my students are learning in the best possible environment, but many of these questions are things that I do not have control over. I can't control a student's internet or device they are using. So when they are not able to join my live class and miss the lesson, I do the best I can by providing them the lesson with an audio recording, but these are 5th graders. We all know that for them to truly learn they need to be in class where they can see the modeling, questioning, and assignments being explained.
I noticed that some students were not completing assignments independently, so I started doing some assignments together as a class and offering small group office hours on Wednesdays for them to receive help on the assignments. But some of them still won't complete the assignments. I try to monitor what is on their screen so that I can help them if they are confused or need help, but I have 30 students per class. I can't see all of their screens at one time. I also know that I have students who need help, but won't ask me. I have offered 1:1 time, small group time, I'm available via email or private messages on Google Classroom, but there are some students who would just be doing better in the classroom setting where I can actually SEE what they are doing and if they need help.
Then we have our students who are learning a second language or have an IEP. Again, I am doing my best to make sure my lessons and activities are accommodating and fit their learning needs, but it is so hard to fit all of their needs in a virtual setting. Some of these students need to be able to physically hold the manipulatives in their hands to help them understand. They need to be able to physically hold the book they are reading. They need a break from looking at a screen all day to learn.
I know I am not alone in worrying about all of these things day in and day out. I know that these are the things that are making teachers lose sleep, have higher stress or anxiety, and making some even want to leave the profession.
On top of all of these things we have the constant things being added to our teacher plates. We have to do grades and when someone doesn't show up or do their work we have to give them a zero. I don't like giving zeros when I know that the students are not learning in their best environment. We have to make lessons that try to answer all of these questions listed above and make sure to have a backup plan when the technology doesn't want to work. One day I was literally on Plan D. It was a mess. We have to give county-wide assessments to see student's progress. The idea of assessments right now just doesn't seem fair. Again, the assessment platform will work for some and not for others. This then causes some students to stress and worry when it doesn't work. Students who weren't able to attend all of the live sessions may struggle on the assessment because they missed instruction that more than likely wasn't their fault.
I'm going to repeat. This is HARD. For all of those people who think, teachers are so lucky, they are working from home, they shouldn't be complaining. It isn't about us. It is about the students. We are tired, upset, frustrated because we know that this isn't working for ALL students and we care about ALL of our students.
I have learned a lot about myself as a teacher throughout this 1st quarter and I have things I want to try as we start quarter 2 this week. I have also learned that I can only control so much and while I will not give up, I have to let some things go. I have learned that mental health is important. I have started to have to put myself first sometimes, because if I am not taking care of myself, then my students will not receive the best me.
Please continue to have patience and show grace throughout this time. Most of us are truly trying our best.
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