Patience, Flexibility, Forgiveness, and Empathy

I wrote this blog post during the spring of 2020 as we first began our adventure with distance learning. I wanted to share it again because these four words are still so true during my virtual learning experience.

It is easy to want to jump back into the normal routine of school. Curriculum, assignments, attendance, grades, tests... the list can go on and on, but one thing we have to remember is that this is not normal. What we are dealing with while trying to virtually from home or the school building, or teaching in a hybrid format with some kids at home and others in the building is something that we have never been through before.

Yes, it is important that we continue to teach the curriculum and assess the students throughout the year to see what they are learning, we also have to do it with patience, flexibility, forgiveness, and empathy. We don't know what all these kids are having to deal with at home while they are also trying to complete school on the computer. I have had students tell me, I will be back I need to help my sister get logged into class or I will be back I need to get a bottle for my baby sister, or hold on I need to help my mom with something. These kids (especially my 5th graders) are now not able to just focus on school like they would in the building, oftentimes they are still taking care of things in their household WHILE going to school.

On the flipside of this, I am home trying to teach my classes, while my daughter attends kindergarten virtually on the computer. Honestly, she has done amazing, but then I also hear other parents sitting next to their kindergarteners helping them navigate this unknown world of virtual school and i feel guilty that I can't be there next to her. Luckily her teacher has these four words down, because there will be weeks where we will do all of her assignments on the weekend because at the end of the day when I can finally help her, she is exhausted and doesn't want to do anything school related. And you know what, what is ok with me.

While I have been preaching to have patience, flexibility, forgiveness, and empathy with our students, it is also SO important to have these four things for YOURSELF as well. 

Have patience with yourself, whether you are working and trying to help your kids with school or you are teacher trying to teach in a virtual or hybrid setting, please know that you have not done this before. It won't be perfect, but if you have patience it just may work out.

Have flexibility with yourself. Those dishes sitting in the sink after a long day will still be there the next day. The laundry that is piling up, it will get done eventually. Again, we are not living in normal times right now. The day-to-day things we were used to doing are going to look different right now.

Forgive yourself. Especially look at your moms. Mom guilt can feel so strongly right now. I already mentioned that I feel guilty I can't help my daughter more with her school, but you know what, her teacher knows our situation and completely understands. Some nights my kids don't have the best dinners or get a bath, but it's ok. They are happy and healthy and that is all that matters.

Lastly, have empathy for yourself. We are living in times that we would never have predicted a year ago. Celebrate the little things. Made it through the day? Cheers! Cooked dinner for the family? Success! Took a shower and got dressed in regular clothes? Pour another glass of wine! :-)

Patience. Flexibility. Forgiveness. Empathy.

We will make it!

Original post:

I’ve been wanting to write but never knew where to start. So many different emotions and feelings running through my head. Every time I try to get started my brain is either overloaded with too many thoughts or else my brain goes blank.

I feel this same way about books. When this stay at home order first started, I thought to myself, I’m going to read so many books! It just hasn’t happened. Every time I try to pick up a book to read, I can’t focus.

These thoughts make me wonder about our students. If I can’t focus on writing and reading, how can they??

I’ve been trying to emphasize this to my teammates at school. The motto “less is more” has never been so true. If we as adults can’t focus, how are we expecting kids to focus math, reading, science, social studies, and a creative art each week??

It’s all about finding what works for your students. I’ve discovered that in math I can teach a topic in a 5 min or less video and give them 3-4 problems to solve. They aren’t overwhelmed by a hundred problems and I’m able to provide feedback on what they did much more quickly. Some check the feedback and make corrections and others don’t, and right now that’s ok.

I’ve also stressed to my students that due dates are flexible. If you don’t turn something in by Friday, guess what, that’s ok! If you want to turn it in 2 weeks later, cool, I’m still going to look at it and give you feedback, no excuse or reason why needed.

These are weird times we are currently living in. Everyone needs to have more patience, more flexibility, more forgiveness, and more empathy. We don’t know what our students are going through and how they truly feel, but what we do know is how we feel. Use that to help guide you.